Thought quilters might relate to this...
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that
actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts.
When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the
fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the
one squirrels have before the onset of winter I.e. storing food), therefore
perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their
kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also
revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a
select few, a breed of women known as "quilters". When played backwards on
an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me, and sew me". In
order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics
cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use
ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however,
at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and
also in dictated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the
effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called
FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones
cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or
at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant
other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."